If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK
you mean to tell me
that there was a god damn CUT OPEN BOOB
AND BOYS WERE STILL SEXUALISING IT
FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DOES NO ONE SEE HOW FUCKED UP THIS IS
Does anyone get upset when you’re dreaming and it ends on a cliffhanger? I’m dead serious I can’t tell you how many times I’m having a good or weird dream then wake up like OMG WHAT DID HE FIND OUT IS HE OK WHAT SHOULD I- fuck what was I dreaming about again
Today in English the really shy kid jumped up, threw his book at the chalkboard and walked out. I picked up the book and it was The Fault In our Stars and he was at the part where Augustus dies.
befriend him. he’ll need the support
TAG YOUR SPOILERSZSZ!!! Gahhbahdkkejxdnasdffokxfidkkdkw JEESUSS!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!
Nothing will fuck up your twenties more than thinking you’re supposed to have your shit together.
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME IN A CONDESCENDING WAY
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE I’M AN IDIOT
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME AS IF I’M STUPID BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU KNEW ABOUT OR BECAUSE I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT’S SIMPLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND
- JUST DON’T DO IT
(I like that this has no gender pronouns, too.)
I like that the person asking for sex isn’t pissed off.
This is great.
this is 100 fucking percent how it should be
and honestly, i love that they made the person who was asking not angry but a little sad. like “darn, i wanted the booty” and not “WELL FUCK YOU FOR NOT LETTIN ME HIT THAT”. just a lil sad, but still nice
my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half